Joke

ha ha.

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five
and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she
asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers
and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,
"Thou shall not kill."

 

HO!

A toddler's hamster died, so remembering what he had learned at church, he said this in his final prayer at the backyard funeral: "In the name of the Father, and in the Son, and in the hole he goes".

 

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a
human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very
small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;
it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

 

HEY JANICE!!!!! I got that email forward too ya know (small world, I got it from someone in texas)... you took my jokes!!!

well, ill just post one that you haven't -

In a catholic school, there was a bowl of apples in the lunchline, a nun put up a sign in front of the apples that said "Take only ONE, God is watching",

Further down the line, a child had put up a sign in front of the chocolate chip cookies, "Take as many as you want, God is watching the apples"...


Here is another one, Ok, a kindergarten teacher was going around the room and watching everyone draw,

one girl was working diligently on her drawing, much more than the other kids, and the teacher stopped walking and asked her what she was drawing,

the girl said "I'm Drawing god..."

the teacher replied "but nobody knows what god looks like"

The girl, without looking up from her drawing said "they will in a minute!"

I didn't get that one at first, but i did eventually...

 

All are very funny! Too bad all the ones I know are in Spanish, every time I translate them the miss the punchline!

 

i have one.
so htis girl was at christian school right. and the teacher asked what did mary say when she had her 20th baby? the guy behind the girl poked her with the pencil and she yelled ahhhh! so the teacher said good that is right. so all day the guy poked her with the pencil. the second question was who was the son of god. he pokes her and she yells JESUS!!!!!!!!! the next question was what did mary say to adam before they had another baby. he pokes her twice and she yells IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME I SWEAR IM GONNA SNAP IT LIKE A SOGGY GRAHAM CRACKER!!!!!!!!

 

lol @ marcus

 

hey dont laugh at me

 

lol

 

LOL!!!!

 

one day i guy goes to his doctor and says "doc i have these real bad headaches. what should i do?"
The doctor replies "well to get rid of my headaches i just have sex with my wife." they both laugh.
A week later the patient returns and the doctor ask how he is feeling.
The patient smile and replies "You were right I feel so much better. And by the way Doc you have a lovely home."

What animal should you never play cards with? A Cheetah

Two guys are looking at a dog licking himself and one says "I wish i could do that."
The other guy replies "Really? i think id just pet him first."


heres some more jokes for you LOL!!!

Have you ever seen stevie wonders wife? neither has he

One day mom was cleanign juniors room and found a bondage S&M magazine. She didnt say anything until dada got home.
She handed it to him and asked. " what should we do about this" he replied " well i dont think we should spank him"

 

thank you if anyone likes that joke just say it

 

what joke

 

okay, i am great at jokes, but is any one against blondes? lol, if so i wont tell them but, i have a story like the one there was b4,(and sad enuff it was tru)(well, suposedly)

this girl was baby sitting for a mother and father when they needed to go out somewhere. the kid(was abuot 3) kept getting up and crying in the middle of the night, and when was checked on would only cry and point in the corner to a clown. each time for abuot 5 times the babysitter just threw a blanket over the rather large "doll" untill the kid fell asleep, and then went backdown stairs to chill. (each time she went up the blanket was on the floor next to the bed. finally the babysitter called the parents and asked where she could put the clown doll cuz it was even freaking her out. well, it turned out that it was not a doll, they never even owned one, it was a dwarf, who dressed up as a clown and kidnapped/mollested children. he was arrested.

 

Is that the blonde joke... cuz it wasn't a very good one if it was....
Jk, i know it wasn't....

Yeah, I've heard that one before... But ok, here is something extrememly weird, but true... There was a Multimillionaire that live in florida, and he hired a group of 3 dwarfs to live in caves in his garden... weird huh?

 

mike9i1. Yeah, those are both "true". I've heard various versions of the dwarf one before. All of them 'true'. It's just like mealworms eating through a gecko's stomach. Everyone's heard about it, but no one has had it happen to them. They heard it from someone they know, who heard it from someone they know, who knows a guy who it happened to.
But it's good to see urban legends are alive and spreading! So there's one good thing about email forwards.

 

Yes, that one in just like the gnome in the kitchen.

 

alright well forgot they cant be dirtty so i dont kno that many, lol and since no one regected the blonde ones,

one day a blonde goes into the doctors office running frantically and in a panick, she says "doc, u just have to cure me, i think i accidently broke all the bones in my body some how" she procceds to demonstrate by touching her stomach, and yells out an "ow," she then touches her arm and then her leg and so on and so forth, everytime she touches sumthing she yells out in pain. fiannly the doctor notices her hair color and says, "let me see ur hand", after a quick examination, he exclaims,"just what i thought, a broken index finger!"

 

mike9i1, thats very old not to be rude